HI!!
I can answer you only from my personal experience...
I lost my hearing very suddenly and unexpectedly due to a virus. I was tested and deemed to have moderate to severe hearing loss.
I couldn't hear most things, I lost speech completely.
Hearing aids were offered to me, but it was said that they would not help improve the CLARITY of what I was hearing, only increase the volume.
It is likely that you will be offered the chance to try some hearing aids, really, any improvement is good, but it must be said, a normal hearing aid only increases the volume, and it still has to go through the damaged part of your ear that is/has caused the hearing loss. So, it doesn't fix what is broken, just tries to make it a bit better.
In terms of "how much do you need to have", that is something you and your audiologist will discuss-only you know what your hearing loss is doing to your life and confidence, whether it is seriously interfering or not...
Reading your story, it seems that you have become seemingly well adapted to lip reading. That is a very big thing for someone with a hearing loss of any sort.
I ended up going with a cochlear implant-not everyone agrees with them, but before the operation, even with 2 hearing aids I couldn't understand what was being said to me without looking, definately couldn't use the phone, had to use subtitles etc...
My implant has on been switched on for just on 3 months now, and i can just about always understand what is being said to me, use a phone-mobile and land line-watch TV...
It is just another option, depending on what has caused your hearing loss, but a hearing aid trial is always done before any impant surgery anyway.
I have only had my hearing loss for just over 18 months now, and up until that point, I had had great hearing for 30 years...if you have the chance to do something,anything, to improve your hearing, take it!! It is amazing how much it is taken for granted by those who can easily do it, I find even now I am doing that again.
You saying that you speak softly etc. is so true. I now have people asking me to speak up because they can't hear me-that amuses me greatly!-that obviously happens because your ears are so close to your mouth, but again-until you experience a hearing loss, you just aren't aware of the little things.
Very very best of luck to you. I do understand in my own way...It"s a struggle, but life is still there and it's still good!